Monday, July 30, 2012

Wingman Extraordinaire

Johnny and I met up at our usual spot for the commute this morning.  He requested a 7am start time instead of our normal 6am because he had a date and an event last night.  Double duty in the PM called for an extra hour of sleep this morning.  Makes sense to me.  My extra hour of sleep caused me to be extra peppy on the ride.  But the peppiness did not manifest itself in a faster ride, necessarily.  It did, however, give me the strength to debate harder with Johnny regarding his usual liberal drivel.  You see, Johnny and I both claim to be pretty smart guys.  But we differ greatly on the political spectrum.  He trends towards left of left with the practicality of an economist (which means he spouts lots of tailor –made statistics in an attempt to justify his positions).  And I am firmly right of center, focusing primarily on fiscal practicality.  We tend to debate maybe once a week, only on our rides, and Johnny uses me as his test case to see if his cocktail party political logic will stand up to the masses.  I usually abuse him and poke holes in his logic, which better prepares him to defend his position when he has this same discussion with his friends who are much smarter than I am.  Anyhoo … without getting into the nitty gritty, this morning’s debate was around the educational system and how to solve the problems in California.  And, as usual, Johnny’s go-to solution is to throw money at the problem (“Its all about the kids”) … blah, blah, blah.

But this post is not about political leanings, its about our ride this morning and what an incredible wingman I am (I wish I were an incredible cyclist).  So as Johnny and I hit the MV Bike Trail, having been arguing for ten minutes or so, we passed this cute little thing dressed in a full team kit.  We both looked at each other and nodded in approval and kept riding.  My elevated heart rate - due to the debate - resulted in my pushing the pedals a bit harder, too.  And as we proceeded down the trail, we noticed that Chickey-poo had grabbed onto our wheels and was drafting us (this FatGuy does provide one of the best drafts in all of Marin County).  At the Mike’s Bikes light, we slowed and said our ‘good mornings’.  She acknowledged our efforts in dragging her around and we continued on together.  At another light, I chatted her up about her having to listen to our political debating.  She just giggled but the connection was made.  I further set the table for Johnny as I joked about what a raving Socialist he was … knowing that there was incredible odds that a woman, in Marin, on a bike, riding to work (she had a backpack on) would most likely be a bleeding-heart left-leaner, too.  So she and Johnny had a common ground.  As we (three) hit the Alexander Hill, I feigned being out of breath and let the two of them drop me (of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that Johnny and Chickey-poo don’t combine to weigh more than me).

Johnny let her go ahead and waited for me (only sixty seconds) at the top of the hill.  I assured him that we would catch back up to her in no time.  Johnny informed me that during their brief time together riding up Alexander, he had learned that a) she was an architect, b) she recently moved to Mill Valley from the City to help her focus on her cycling and c) she recently competed in the San Rafael Twilight Criterium.  Not bad info for a six/seven minute conversation.
While Johnny and Chickey-poo raced up the hill, I stopped to take a picture.  It seems that the Sausalito winds were a little too much for this old tree.  The gutters, windows and roof of this house seem like they have seen better days.  But they fared much better than the BMW underneath.

Being, again, the giver that I am, I picked up the pace and dragged Johnny up to her, meeting her just north of the North Tower on the Bridge.  Now the Pimp move would have been to let her drag us across the Bridge and then comment about what a stud she was after we had crossed.  But, no, Johnny is a bit off of his game.  He stupidly passed her and rode ahead.  Chickey-poo didn’t take the bait and she stayed well behind Johnny.  I went for the gentlemanly strategy and stayed behind - in part not to insult her and in part to just enjoy the view.  Chickey-poo turned left off the Bridge in a less than optimal route and I caught up with Johnny and we got ahead of her again.  This time, however, I helped Johnny see the error in his ways and we pushed ahead to be sure to be leading the pack once again.

The ride across Chrissy Field made for fertile grounds for Johnny and Chickey-poo to germinate their relationship.  I dropped some Marin cycling knowledge and asked her if she rode for Team Exergy/2012.  She was flattered and responded, “Yeah … this is my last ride before I head off to London for the Olympics.  Joking.”  Boom … She’s got a sense of humor, too.  Johnny did his part the rest of the ride to charm her.  I kept my mouth shut and just enjoyed the young love in the air.  Johnny even strayed from our normal route and followed Chickey-poo on her normal course, getting stopped at a stop light as I continued on my way.  In hindsight, that was a good move, Johnny, picking the longest light to just stand there and stare into each other’s eyes as you waited for the light to turn.  

Johnny got her name and, with the information we collected earlier, he has ample information to cyber-stalk her and fill in all the details.  I would be shocked if he didn’t already know her first and last name, current address, where she works (including work phone number) and other pertinent information.  Well done, buddy.  You are welcome for all the hard work I put in for you this morning.  I may be an old married fart, but I still have some game.  And I am happy to use my skills for your benefit.  Many happy rides, Johnny.  I want to be in the wedding party ... as long as the wedding is in a tropical locale.

No comments:

Post a Comment